A Formerly Vegan Regenerative Farmer Speaks Out


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Regenerative farmer:

Vegans are naïve if they think they’re not participating in the torture of animals. You city dwellers just don’t understand the reality of growing food on a real farm.

The soil your organic vegan food is grown in uses manure from factory farms where animals are tortured and killed.

At our regenerative farm, we decided not to participate in the factory farming system or use any of their fertilizer, therefore we are better and more enlightened than you vegans.

Here at Formerly Vegan Regenerative Farm, we have our own cows who regenerate our soil and make it more fertile.

I used to be vegan but when I started growing crops for my vegan restaurant I realized that animals are part of the natural ecosystem, therefore, I decided to buy animals for my farm and kill and eat them and serve them in my new restaurant.

My cows rebuild the soil by chewing and then pooping out the rich grasses and delicious cover crops that they enjoy eating.

This process creates a rich loamy soil full of the right kinds of microorganisms and the most nutritious food ever. Our soil is alive. We don’t use any chemicals at all.

So it’s natural and normal for us to pet and feed the animals, make friends with them,

(Pets and snuggles cow)

and then kill and slaughter them and eat them.

(Cow cowers and runs away)

They are delicious and I am not doing anything wrong, so stop looking at me that way.

When you are a real farmer you have to eat meat and kill and use animals. It is just part of the process.

(Vegan farmer walks up)

Howdy neighbor. I understand why you want to enrich your soil with cow poop, but I don’t understand why you think you have to kill and eat your animal friends after they have so generously trampled and aerated your soil and enriched it with their poop.

Especially since you don’t have to eat animals to survive anymore like some subsistence farmers in the developing world still do.

The American Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics agrees that that vegetarian and vegan diets are healthful at all stages of life.

That includes during pregnancy, lactation, infancy, childhood, elderly, and athletic stages of life.

We found a much simpler solution on our vegan farm next door. We allow wild deer and bison and bunny rabbits, and all kinds of species of animals to enjoy our land when we are not using it.

Our animal friends eat the cover crops and poop as much as they want to. We have set up a fencing system. We just open the gate for the land we want to be pooped and grazed upon.

Wild deer and bison can come and trample and chew and poop to their heart’s content. The other gates are kept closed so our crops are safe.

The second way we get rich healthy living soil is to have our rescued farm animal friends eat from the fallow fields safe from predators in a fenced-off area.

We don’t want to send them out into the wild, so we protect these traumatized animals for the remainder of their lives. It just feels like the right thing to do to balance out all the cruelty in the world.

The third way we get rich loamy soil with a wonderful spongy absorbent texture that holds water is with our own humanure.

That’s right! I said humanure. Humans who eat a high fiber plant-based diet are full of fiber-rich poop that is perfectly safe once it has been composted.

City folks are wasting a rich national resource by flushing poop down the toilet every day.

Using humanure we grow local crops with local poop and save the water that was going to flushing toilets for drinking and watering plants.

So maybe vegan regenerative farmers are not so naïve about the circle of life after all.

Maybe we just know how to build fencing and composting toilets really well.

Here at Veganic Regenerative Biodynamic Permaculture Farm, we aim to give half the planet back to nature by using a fraction of the land to feed and house humans.

We share the same goals as you do at Formerly Vegan Regenerative Farm. We also want to end the factory farming system and heal the planet for all.

But we don’t have to kill or eating anyone except plants.

We humans have had to harden our hearts to enslave and use other humans and animals to build civilizations in the past.

This systematized cruelty has caused mental and emotional trauma that has reverberated throughout our culture. Much of our violence and war is caused by suppressed guilt and shame over what we have done.

Isn’t it time for the using and killing to end?

After all, we have B12 now and vegan meats substitutes are here already, and lab meat will be coming along pretty quick if you really want to eat meat.

There is no longer any excuse for the enslavement, colonization, and slaughter of those who cannot protect themselves from us.

Nowadays being human, modern, and scientific means being kind. It just works a lot better for everyone.

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